By Gitanjali More, The confused mother
Are you in the process of moving to Germany to have better opportunities and a better life
for yourself and your family? Congratulations! I moved here almost 10 years ago, all alone
and full of excitement, not really knowing what to expect or how things would turn out.
I’m sure you’re excited too but I understand it can be scary and confusing, especially if you
don’t know much about how things work in Germany, don’t speak the language and have to bring your family too.
When I became a mother in Germany, I didn’t realize how different it
would be compared to the experience in India. It was confusing and overwhelming even
though I speak fluent German. I hear from most international parents that I speak to, that
they face the same confusion, not just because of the language but also because things
just work differently here and the information available out there isn’t so easy to
understand.
In this blog post, I’d like to share some things that I learned along the way and will save you a lot of time and research when you arrive here in Germany, especially when you have your
first child here.
Pregnancy and postpartum support
In Germany, expectant mothers benefit from so many options for healthcare checkups to
make sure their baby and they are well taken care of. Almost all the tests are optional, and
parents can choose which they want to get. Prenatal care is highly emphasized, ensuring
regular check-ups and guidance throughout pregnancy.
You can also get professional support for your postpartum recovery, breastfeeding, etc. from a midwife (or Hebamme), the costs for which are covered by health insurance. For
someone like me, who doesn’t know much about German practices and what works here,
this was quite useful. I remember looking at a baby sleep sack and asking what it was and ifI needed it! Where I’m from in India, we didn’t have those growing up because it was always too warm. A few weeks after the baby is born, you can also get a postnatal recovery coursepaid by your insurance.
The family centers or Familienzentrum offer a lot of free courses on baby massage, baby
sleep, and breastfeeding and are open to all members of the community. I learned about
these too late, but when we started going there for playgroups, I saw a lot of mothers with
their babies who were getting the help they needed. You can find a family center in your area and go there to make new friends and find activities for your child, including sports and
music.
Financial benefits for parents and children
I was so pleasantly surprised when I first heard about how much parental leave (Elternzeit)
my husband and I were entitled to and decided that since I have the privilege, I will make
full use of it. In Germany, both parents can get a total of 14 months of basic parental
benefits (Basiselterngeld) and if they divide it between them along with part-time work like in the case of ElterngeldPlus or Partnerschaftsbonus, this period can be extended by some more months. In order to be eligible for Elterngeld, your net income together must be below €200,000 a year.
A common misunderstanding among new parents is that you can only get "paid Elternzeit,"
when in reality, you can get Elternzeit for much longer than you can get Elterngeld. Another misunderstanding is related to how much Elterngeld and Elternzeit the partner can take. In Germany the two extra months that both parents together can get are commonly called the “partner months” leading them to believe that the partner can only
get two months, when in fact the 14 months can be divided between both parents as they wish.
Another financial benefit that you get in Germany is Kindergeld, which is €250 per month
per child until they become adults. This is a valuable addition to any family's budget and is meant to cover some basic living expenses of the child.
Childcare:
Kita or Kindergarten is the daycare option. Kita (known as “Krippe” in some parts of
Germany) accept children starting from one year, and a few will also accept children from a
younger age. Another daycare option is a Tagesmutter/vater or a childminder until the age
of 3 after which they will change to a Kindergarten. In this case, the children are taken care of in the home of the Tagesmutter and are in groups of maximum of five children.
It is a popular choice for those looking for more personal childcare.
Kita search is a topic that gives many new parents sleepless nights! Like with many other
things, the sooner you get started with the kita search, the better. If you know when you
want to start sending your child to a kita, you can already get started with this process
during pregnancy. When applying, you can choose several routes like phone calls, emails, and using the Kita Navigator (in Berlin), but most of the time, you will end up using all
possible channels!
Once your child starts going to daycare, you have an “Eingewöhnung” or adaptation period,
which can last from anywhere between 3 weeks to 4 months. It is best to discuss your
expectations and timeline with the Kita administrators before you start.
These are just some of the things you need to know about the support available to you as
a parent in Germany. This list goes on. And of course, with weather differences, cultural
specifications, and questions like raising bilingual children, will definitely come up as you
raise your children here. Let me save you a lot of time and research because I have already done most of it for you.
How I Can Support Your Expat Parenting Journey
I am Gitanjali More, an Indian mom of one and the creator of The Confused Mother. As your
motherhood companion, my aim is to make your transition into parenthood in Germany as
smooth as possible by:
∙Handling all the bureaucratic paperwork for you
∙Translating German cultural norms around parenting
∙Providing emotional support and solidarity from someone who gets it
∙Saving you time, stress, and mistakes
Do you want to connect with Gitanjali and hear more about her offers?
Leave your details here and she will get back to you.
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